GRANDFATHER’S PAGE OF JOKES
25
REASONS
WHY BEER IS BETTER THAN WOMAN
1. You can enjoy a beer all month long.
2. Beer-stains wash out easily.
3. You don't have to wine and dine a beer.
4. Your beer will always wait patiently for
you in the car while you play football.
5. When a beer goes flat, you toss it out.
6. Beer is never late.
7. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab
another beer.
8. Hangovers go away.
9. Beer labels come off without a fight.
10. When you go to a bar, you know you can
always pick up a beer.
11. Beer never has a headache.
12. After you've had a beer, the can is
still worth two cents.
13. A beer won't get upset if you come home
and have another beer.
14. If you pour a beer right you always get
good head.
15. A beer always goes down easily.
16. You can have more than one beer in a
night and not feel quilty.
17. You can share a beer with your friends.
18. You always know if you're the first one
to open a beer.
19. A beer is always wet.
20. Beer doesn't demand equality.
21. You can have a beer in public.
22. A beer doesn't care what time you come
home.
23. A frigid beer is a good beer.
24. You don't have to wash a beer before it
tastes good.
25. If you change beers you don't have to
pay alimony.
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10 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Religion
10. No one will kill you for not drinking
Beer.
9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
8. Beer has never caused a major war.
7. They don't force Beer on minors who can't
think for themselves.
6. When you have Beer, you don't knock on
people's doors trying to give it away.
5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake,
hanged, or tortured over their brand of Beer.
4. You don't have to wait more than 2,000
years for a second Beer.
3. There are laws saying that Beer labels
can't lie to you.
2. You can prove you have a Beer.
1. If you've devoted your
life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop."
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The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer, such as:
13.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you
are not.
12.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
11.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story
over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
10.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
9.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are
really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
8.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the heck happened
to your pants.
7.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and
see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).
6.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns
on the forehead.
5.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,
handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Kerry.
4.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
3.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH
you.
2.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space
continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to
literally "disappear".
1.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
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Old stories:
None yet…
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Sensible
words:
None yet…
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© The Gentlemen´s club, the Knights of Malt Around the
Round Word 2004
Last update: the 20 of November 2001.
