"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
Buy a Pentium 166 so you can reboot faster.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features
C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO
C:\PC\CRAWL
C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN
-------- The information went data way --------
Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression
The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding!
Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.
11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?
Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
All computers wait at the same speed.
DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.
Press ctrl - alt -del to continue...
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)
Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
Read my chips: No new upgrades!
Hit any user to continue.
2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!
I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!
Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
(A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?
Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.
Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand."
Double your drive-space: delete Windows !
Ever noticed how fast Windows runs ? Neither did I !
Windows: Turn your Pentium into an XT ...
Windows: The Gates of hell
Windows - The colorful clown suit for DOS
Windows'95 is out! (PC Magazine, April 2013)
MS-Windows could use yet another liposuction
Windows: XT emulator for an AT
Windows is for fun, OS/2 is for getting things done
OS/2 VirusScan -- "Windows found: Remove it? [Y,n]"
Windows'95: New look, same multicrashing
Windows isn't a virus, viruses do something
Help! There are Windows everywhere! In my car, my house
MicroSoft's marketing: "Windows is SEMI-shareware"
Windows: From the people who brought you EDLIN !
Time on your hands ? Get Windows !
"Fer sail cheep, Windows spel chekcer, wurks grate"
Microsoft Windows ... a virus with mouse support
Microsoft gives you Windows ... OS/2 gives you the whole house
Newsflash: Microsoft announces Visual Edlin for Windows
Sorry, this virus requires MicroSoft Windows 3.x
A computer without Windows is like a fish without a bicycle
Are you using Windows or is that just an XT ?
Bang on the LEFT side of your computer to restart Windows
Beat me, whip me, make me use Windows !
Breaking Windows isn't just for kids anymore ...
Bugs come in through open Windows
Coming soon: EDLIN for Windows
DOS 6.0 and Windows 3.1 - A turtle and its shell
DOS is just an operating system that runs Windows 3.1
Data to Picard: "No, Captain, I do NOT run WINDOWS !"
Despite my car having windows, it still isn't mouse driven !
Difference between a virus and windows ? Viruses rarely fail
Error #152 - Windows not found: (C)heer (P)arty (D)ance
Error 005: Windows loading - come back tomorrow
Father, forgive me, I've been caught using Windows ...
Have you crashed your Windows today ?
I can't wait for EDLIN to be ported for Windows
I still miss Windows, but my aim is getting better
I'll never forget the 1st time I ran Windows, but I'm trying ...
If I wanted Windows, I'd live in a greenhouse !
If Windows is user-friendly, why do you need a 678-page manual ?
If Windows sucked it would be good for something
My latest screen saver: Curtains for Windows
New Windows 4.0: programmed in Turbo Logo++
New from McAfee: WinScan - Removes all Windows programs
OS/2 ... Opens up Windows, shuts up Gates
Out of disk space - Delete Windows ? [Y]es [H]ell yes!
Relax ... you are entering a windows free zone
Some windows were made to be broken
Windows - so intuitive you only need a meg of help files !
Windows 3.1 - The best $89 solitaire game you can buy
Windows 3.1 vs OS/2 = Michael Jackson vs Mike Tyson
Windows95 will be released as soon as Windows 3.1 finishes loading
Windows Multitasking: screwing up several things at once
Windows NT: Nice Try
Windows NT: Insert wallet into Drive A: and press any key to empty
Windows - A solitaire game that requires 16 MB and HD
Windows has the ability to screw up 2 things at the same time !
Top Ten Anagrams for
"Information Superhighway"
10. Enormous, hairy pig with fan
9. Hey, ignoramus -- win profit? Ha!
8. Oh-oh, wiring snafu: empty air
7. When forming, utopia's hairy
6. A rough whimper of insanity
5. Oh, wormy infuriating phase
4. Inspire humanity, who go far
3. Waiting for any promise, huh?
2. Hi-ho! Yow! I'm surfing Arpanet!
And the number one anagram for "Information
Superhighway":
1. New utopia? Horrifying sham